Sirius
by M.J. Lovegood
Summary: Songfic from NFG's "Sonny" - This is all from Harry's point of view on Sirius's death. ONE SHOT- No Flames Please . RR


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Sirius 

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any song from New Found Glory as far as I know.

This is a song fic from a song called "Sonny" by New Found Glory. When I listen to it, it reminds me of Sirius so I thought I would write a little fic dedicated to him. It might be better if you listen to the song at the same time too. I haven't written any song fics or any kind of angst before so let me know if you like it or not. Just no flames please.

I'm sorry   
I heard about the bad news today  
A crowd of people around you   
Telling you it's okay  
And everything happens for a reason  
  
It was far past midnight, and Harry just stared out of his window like he did so much now days, just thinking. Since Serius died, Harry had felt sort of an empty place inside. He wasn't so much sad anymore, or angry…just empty. He was so sick of people telling him that everything was going to be alright and things would get better eventually. He still had Hermione and Ron to talk to but, it just wasn't the same. He wanted the closest thing he ever had to a parent back: his godfather, his friend, his brother - Sirius.

When you lose a part of your self  
To somebody you know  
It takes a lot to let go  
Every breath that you remember  
Pictures fade away but memory is forever  


Harry knew he wouldn't be "letting go" anytime soon, and he decided that he was just going to have to learn to deal with the pain. But it _so _was painful. More painful than the Cruciatius curse ever inflicted upon him. He didn't even have anything of Sirius's to remember him by ...a couple of very old photos…but nothing that left an impression. Just his memories.

An empty chair at all the tables  
And I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down  
But it's better where you're going anyway  
  
He thought of Sirius's house and how much he hated being there. But when Harry and the others were around, he changed. He became happy. He remembered their conversations at dinner with the members of the Order. He remembered Sirius laughing at Mundungus or the twins. It was that Sirius that he would miss the most. 

I'm sorry   
I heard about the bad news today  
It's really hard to get through  
Tough times and long days  
But it really just depends on the season  


Life at the Dursley's had improved a little. But now with Sirius gone, Harry didn't care anymore. He just stayed in his room most of the time anyway, contemplating his future. This was the longest summer of his life. The Dursley's were scared to death that one of Harry's protectors might come and blow them up, but Harry couldn't enjoy it. It was hard to enjoy anything anymore.

An empty chair at all the tables

And I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down  
For now we'll say goodbye   
We know it's not the last time  
I've lost the best part of my day  
But it's better where you're going anyway

The only thing that really seemed to comfort him was Luna's parting words. She said it wasn't as though she would never see her mum again.. Maybe it was true. Maybe they were just beyond the Vail. At a better place. Just lurking out of sight as Luna had said. 

He supposed it wasn't doing any good to worry about it. But it was hard to think of that fateful day when he would either have to kill or be killed. He didn't want to think about anything anymore._  
_

  
This is the last thing I…  
I will remember   
It's better where you're going anyway.

Watching Sirius fall through that archway was the hardest thing Harry would ever have to do in his life. He didn't care if he died, as long as his loved ones were safe. Maybe he _did_ have a "saving people thing", but it was only because he cared. As hard as it was to avoid the thought, he felt guilty for not listening to Hermione. There were so many "what-ifs". But what was done was done, and there was no going back. He would just have to live with the memory of that day the rest of his life. As he looked out his window at the moon, he couldn't help wondering whether Sirius was looking at the same thing from wherever he was at the moment. He only hoped Sirius was at peace now…just beyond the Vail.


End file.
